Lessons learned from my hybrid wedding

By Elaine

Ok, it wasn’t even a wedding. It was my husband’s 40th birthday party. But it was a bit like a wedding…there were flowers, there was a guestbook, there were gifts…you get the picture.

Many many years ago, I did plan an actual wedding, my own. And the year after that, between my husband and I, we were invited to eleven weddings!! I was in the wedding party of three of these weddings and my husband was in four of them. You can say that I have quite a bit of experience planning, participating, and attending a wedding.

But it wasn’t until this past weekend when I threw my husband’s hybrid wedding/40th birthday bash that I realized that I had almost forgotten the important lessons I learned from my own wedding…many years ago.

1) Remember why you are having a wedding in the first place - it’s to celebrate your decision to share your life with your fiancé. So plan a wedding that will be fun and memorable for the two of you, not for your mother, and especially not for his mother!

2) Everyone works under some kind of a budget, whether it’s big or small. So sit down and figure out what’s important to you and let your budget reflect that. Have you always dreamed of walking down the aisle in a fabulous designer gown? Then, allocate more $$ for the dress. Everyone will be too busy oohing and ahhing over your dress to notice that you went for the simple but tasteful centerpieces.

3) No matter how absorbed you get in the wedding details during the months and months of planning, some time before the actual big day, find a trustworthy and responsible friend (or wedding planner if you can afford one) and delegate it all. The goal is that you will be your most beautiful and relaxed self on the day of the wedding. Besides, who can look beautiful if they are all stressed out over what time the cake cutting is supposed to start?

4) Last of all, remember and cherish every detail on the day of your wedding. This is one day in your entire life and it will go by so fast. Don’t worry if things don’t go exactly as planned. The guests will never notice. Trust me, I’ve been to many weddings where everything seemed to flow perfectly only to find out from the bride afterwards, that very few things actually went according to plan.

View from a bridesmaid – Part 1

By Anne

I was in a close friend’s wedding this past weekend, and observed how the bride enjoyed the wedding as much as the rest of us did. It’s been a long time since I have gone to a wedding (most of my friends are having their 3rd, if not 4th child), let alone being in one, so I was able to see many things with a fresh pair of eyes.

The first thing that came to my mind is that having a wedding in September was a great idea. There is nothing special about being a “June Bride” (although I was one). Of course, this depends on the city in which you are having your ceremony. In San Francisco, where my friend got married, September is probably just as nice as June. It was a great idea because you are probably not competing with many other couples in fighting over the same venue or vendors, and therefore, it may likely be cheaper than having a party in the busier months. The couple was able to have an outdoor ceremony at sunset while the guests still managed to stay relatively warm.

I also love the colors that were used at the wedding. The bridesmaids had on a Jim Hjelm dress in Sienna, a very nice Fall color. The bridal bouquet was all hand-tied bouquet of exclusively calla-lilies, dyed in a similar color. The bridemaids’ bouquets were also very elegant, using simple white calla-lilies and orchids. These 2 flowers were used throughout the cocktail reception and the banquet and created a nice and warm atmosphere.

How to Choose the Perfect Dress

By Kate

As you know, picking a wedding dress is one of the biggest decision you will have to make. The dress shows your sense of style. A-line? Bateau? A bustle? What does it all mean? Feeling pressure to wear ritzy that is straight out from the bridal magazines? There will always be the perfect dress to fit your desire and budget. Don't fret! Let's start with the basics.

I am offering tips on choosing just the right dress:

* Ball gown is a full-skirted gown with a very fitted bodice. Good for slim girls and pear shapes. Slim the hips down.

* A-line is a style that flares out gently along the body; It emphasizes the waistline and create an elongated line. Most forgiving and creates a feminine figure for most body type.

* Sheath fits closely the contours of the body. It could be plain or embellished. Good for tall and thin with no visible curves or the slim and petite with hourglass frame.

* Mermaid is a type of sheath that has outward flare at the bottom. Trumpet is a variation that flares out even more. Good for curvy figure brides.

De listes de mariage or the Wedding Registry

By Elaine

No cost shopping spree or another to-do among an endless list leading up to the big day?

In traditional Chinese culture, brides and grooms receive “red envelopes”, literally red-colored envelopes filled with cash, instead of traditional wedding gifts chosen from a wedding registry. Precious time is not spent picking out your future blender and dishes and putting them on a list and guests do not expect to spend their time figuring out what to buy from your registry.

While the practical side in you may say, “hey, that’s not a bad idea”, in reality though, the wedding registry does have its place in the whole hoopla surrounding the planning of a wedding. Although it takes time and effort, putting together a wedding registry is a fun and sweet way for you and your fiancé to spend time planning and imagining your life together. Never underestimate the romance of figuring out together just which sauté pan will help you whip up your first dinner as a married couple. For your guests, having the option of choosing an item from a gift registry takes away the anxiety surrounding what gift to give. Some guests may not feel comfortable making a monetary gift or may find it a tad too practical. Other guests may actually relish the idea of the two of you sitting down together for your “married” meals using silverware that they bought you. Whether the reason is practical or sentimental, a wedding registry is definitely a should-do in your wedding planning.

Here are some tips on how to approach the wedding registry:

* Decide on which store or stores you want to register at. While it may seem obvious that you should choose the store in which you like the merchandise, you should also about about their exchange and return policy. Some stores may even give you cash in exchange for your returned gifts or give you cash back when you return a gift certificate that your guest purchased for you from the store. Is that an option at your store? Also, talk to your recently married friends who registered at the store to see just how difficult or easy it was to return gifts. Was the return process simple and quick? Did they receive good service when they tried to return items?

* Set aside a few hours, a weekend morning is best, when you and your fiancé are not stressed by the weekday grind. Now, we all know some guys who would rather have a root canal than spend a precious weekend morning shopping. So make it a date. A fun one that begins with coffee and some breakfast and give him an idea upfront how long you plan to spend at the store. Then let him have the afternoon off from wedding planning duties to hang out with the guys to recuperate from all that retail experience.

* Finally, choose a range of items from high to low price points. Choose practical everyday items that you know you will use, as well as a few sentimental, “non-necessary” items, such as a nice vase or a leather photo album. Some guests like the idea of buying something “meaningful” instead of just plates and dishes. And pick a few splurge items that you would not otherwise be able to afford, like a fancy espresso machine or that super duper mixer with fifty attachments (if you’re a baker, of course). You never know if your mother’s girlfriend from high school…the one who remembers what you looked like tottering around in your first pair of real shoes…decides that your wedding is as much of a celebration as you and your fiancé think it is. Finally, if you ask me, skip the fine china. My friends who got fine china never ended up using it and the dishes just became another thing to pack and unpack when they finally moved out of their starter apartment. Besides, who has time to use dishes that you can’t run through the dishwasher?

And…it doesn’t hurt to let your guests know that you would welcome gift certificates purchased from the store that you registered at. And though you may or may not be Chinese, let them know you would certainly be happy to receive the most practical of gifts, cash in an envelope, red or otherwise.